Have you ever had a thought that came to you, or a feeling that you were supposed to do something?
That happened to me on the plane ride home from Columbus, Ohio after Ella’s 9th surgery. The thought that came to me was, “You need to write a book.” Now, in the past when I felt God wanted me to do something completely out of my comfort zone, I would do one of several things. I would either make an excuse for why I couldn’t do it, or argue and say, “Honey, no.”
But this time, for some reason, I jumped in immediately. I got a pen out of my purse, and leaned over to Ella and told her what was happening. I asked her what she would tell other kids that were sick. She thought for a while and then started listing some things. I wrote everything she said on an airplane napkin.
When we got home, I took that napkin and started writing. But, the more I wrote, the more the words kept coming for Eli’s journey through all of Ella’s health struggles. I remembered one day after church, he said, “Mom, why do people say they are praying for Ella, but no one says they’re praying for me?” Or, “Mom, why does Ella get cards and gifts after a surgery and I don’t get any?” He didn’t feel seen, and that broke my heart.
I did some research, and found that there are a ton of books for sick kids, but hardly any for the siblings of sick kids. I knew without a doubt, that that’s what the book was supposed to be about.
I sat Eli down and told him what I was thinking and he was on board. I told him I wouldn’t write anything that he was uncomfortable with and asked him what he would say to other kids that have a sick sister or brother. Most of what he said was based on emotions and what you do about it.
I started writing when he was at school. After school he would read it and tell me what he liked or didn’t like. I remember one day, I thought I had a great idea and completely rewrote the book. I thought he would love it. I’m sure you can guess what happened. He read the first page and said he didn’t like it. Unfortunately, I had already deleted the first draft because I was so sure he would love it. Lesson learned. Save all your work.
Now, after many revisions, and many rejections, it’s being published. I am so excited that Eli’s voice will be heard. Finally.
If you ever get that nudge to do something out of your comfort zone, I encourage you to be open to it. Go for it. What do you have to lose?
Oh, and save your work.
Fear. Fear has held me back most of my life. Fear of what people think. Fear of being good enough. Fear of failing. Five years ago, I took a leave of absence from my job to begin speaking and sharing my story. I made a website, wrote a book, and began speaking. The one thing I haven’t done is promote and market myself. Marketing is hard. Especially when you’re marketing yourself. But, I have decided I need to put fear in the back seat and just do it. But, I need your help. I need your help getting my name out there. Getting my website out there. God called me to start speaking 20 years ago and I need to get going. If your church, youth group, women’s group needs a speaker, either in person or virtually, I would love to share how God saved my life multiple times.
“If I forgive him, I’m letting him off the hook.”
